The MisAdventures in Online Dating

There are a number of stories, really. Most of these stories involve people I do not ever meet, only a select few are where I go to meet them. Though I didn’t meet many, I am more happy that I didn’t. You see, the few I did made me question the very idea of online dating. At one point I said I am through with this whole online dating thing! But, I wasn’t done yet… and I am glad I stuck with it for one more…but thats a story for another day.
For now, lets start off With something a little more recent…
This, we will call “Awkward”
Though, I could technically call all of these awkward.
So, there was a time when I got back to online dating after stopping for a year (I will bring this story out sometime in the future)
I found one person, she had a good job, made a lot, done with school, lifes on track…. BUT! She got through with a relationship about a year prior. This relationship had lasted her more than a decade, almost leading to marriage. But, he broke up with her.
So, I eventually contacted her. I got her attention, she sent me a few replies… though she was pretty attractive, I wasn’t sure if I would get one from her in the beginning. But you gotta remember, online dating is a numbers game and you cannot give up! Take it from one of your favorite heroes growing up (real or fake), what can make you a hero, what can make you special, is never giving up! Though I am no hero…no, just a guy looking at my future.
We are messaging, but not long after we start she asks for my number. I was slightly reluctant, but went ahead and took my chances. What this resulted in was the most awkward moment in my online dating life.
So, we get to talking on the phone. (This is the part where I hope she never sees this…but hey, it would interesting if she somehow did).
Now, without any name dropping!
We talk, she talks to me about her life, her past boyfriend who she was going to marry, but they broke up… it was very unfortunate. Then she started to say that she has ADHD. I didn’t think much of it at first, that is, until she showed an example of her ADHD.
We talked, she would then switch things over entrely to something more focused on her wants and needs…even if what we were talking about was something she started in the first place.
EXAMPLE!
Her: Whats your favorite color and why?
Me: Oh, its blue becau.. {{HER}} HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS TV SHOW?!
Me: Oh..um I think its nice… {{{{{HER}}}}} IM SORRY <.< I have ADHD, so what are you doing??
Fin
Yea, it was a little like that.
But thats not the crazy awkward part, we are getting to that.
So back to where we were. We talk and talk and talk and talk… and then I hear her burp.
I think, huh…maybe shes trying to show that she is not just a girly girl? Though burping is the last thing I look at if you are a girly girl. I don't need anyone to prove anything to me, I just want them to be themselves.
She says "sorry, but I burp. Are you okay with that?"

Without missing a beat I say “sure, better out than in” or something to the effect of I am okay with it, if that is your thing.
Now that wasn’t the awkward part.
Talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk FLUSH ….silence

I am speechless. She is too. We just hang there without talking for a bit…
I stutter to ask “wh..what was that?”
She says “oh sorry, I couldnt hold it in…”
uuhhhhhhh….uh..uhhhhhhhh
WUT?!?!?!
So I say “yyou …you just flushed the toilet? you just went to the bathroom?”
She says yea
Now…There are times when you see a red flag, its obvious. Well this was a brown flag, and these are far worse.
So I am already thinking, what the hell?! I decide to talk for a lil while longer cuz at this point, I am interested in the kind of person she is…you know? the kind of person who uses the bathroom n flushes the toilet to a complete stranger on the phone.
Later on, she says she will call me back. I say sure…
She does around 12, or close to it. Though when we start talking, she says she took some medication or something… we talk a lil, but then I hear another noise.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Umm…hello? Hellllooooooo?? >.> <.< you there?
At first I couldn't tell she was snoring… but then I recognized it. I got her to wake up…and she repeated the same questions over and over every time I woke her up.
I just said my goodbyes after she fell asleep a third/fourth time on me.
I understand you can be nervous…this stuff happens. But! Theres a limit to the things any of us are gonna be okay with when we first meet someone. Wait to hear more about the person you are interested in before being yourself in pajamas (meaning, whatever you do at home when no one is looking. I mean, whatever is comfortable but embarrassing).
So I kept searching after this. I am glad I did too. Cuz kids, this is the story of How I Met Your Mother. Wait…thats not right… though it is a good show 😀
Alright! That ends the first blog for the MisAdventures in Online Dating! Things were awkward, scary, burpy and flushy! But I survived, she is probably dating a good guy, and everything worked out.
Next time I bring up the girl from Washington state, its gonna be called…
"Linkin Park and one drink too many…"